What I Wanted
For starters, I wanted more than anything in the world for my husband to be there when our first was born, but due to his military service, he was gone for training. Our first would be 4 months old before she met her dad for the first time and it would be almost a month later before we all lived together under one roof again.
It was a mixed bag of emotions to have her without him being there and I was not okay; but I made it. I was not okay emotionally and often avoided talking about his absence like the plague, but I knew I would survive without him.
Truly that was the key – I survived, but I did not thrive. I was a hot mess, but I kept it together with the help of my family and my best friend. In general, birthing babies is not for the faint of heart, but having a child without the one who helped you create them is heartbreaking.
Next, I wanted to have a spontaneous unmedicated labor with both of my girls. However, I achieved neither of these with my first, but was fortunate to go into labor naturally with my second. I have yet to accomplish the illustrious goal of birthing babies without medication.
It’s funny to me, I have run 6 marathons in my 27 years of life, an accomplishment that many people will never accomplish even once. However, I cannot birth a child without medication which my mom has accomplished with 3 of 4 of her children. It’s mind-boggling. I know that running a marathon is not synonymous with having a baby, but I draw parallels to say I have accomplished something less than 1% of the population will, but I cannot accomplish something women have been doing since the beginning of time.
Anyways, I’ll end my rant – maybe I’ll accomplish my goal next time!
So what did I learn from birthing babies?
That’s a loaded question – I could say I learned a million things, but in all reality, I still have so much to learn!
So what did I learn?
I learned that nothing and I mean nothing will go to plan! I am sure if any first-time mom’s are reading this, that is incredibly nerve-wracking, but in hindsight, I find it reassuring. It makes me feel better knowing that I cannot go wrong with over-preparing or under-preparing because at the end of the day, my baby is going to be born the way she wants to be born and there is not a thing I can do about it!
However, you can never go wrong with being educated. I took two online courses – one before my first and another before my second. I loved both of them and highly recommend both.
The first course I took was Nichole McCloy’s course called The Membership with Nichole. Her course is very holistic and offers a different approach in addition to the traditional western medicine approach to pregnancy, laboring, and everything postpartum from personal care to child care. I still reference her material and utilize her Facebook group regularly as a first and second-time mom.
The second course I utilized was Liesel’s course called Mommy Labor Nurse. Liesel’s course are very well-rounded and organized. I enjoyed the additional information I gained from her course as she dove more into potential complications and most likely interventions as a result. Again, I highly recommend both courses if you are pregnant and have yet to take a course!
I also learned that at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what happens or who delivers my baby as long as my baby makes it earthside happy and healthy, as a mother, you will endure pretty much anything to ensure this happens.
Lastly, I have learned the importance of asking for help. I received so much help after my first as almost everyone knew my husband was gone and wanted to offer a helping hand that I rarely had to ask for help. So before having my second, I had to force myself to step out of my comfort zone and ask my mom for help. I asked her to come to stay with us for a week once my second was born to help my firstborn with the transition from only child to the eldest child.
To my relief, she quickly agreed to help; and even better, she was able to follow through. I went into labor on a Sunday in the middle of the night and she made it to Colorado by that evening. She was the most helpful and I will never be able to repay her for it; but I’m telling you, asking for help is a game changer.
Birthing Babies is Hard
Birthing babies is HARD for so many reasons, but it doesn’t always have to be. Remember, it takes a village! When the time comes to welcome your little one into the world it is good to know what you want out of your birth, but it is even more important to acknowledge that your wants are not guaranteed. Educating yourself via courses is one of the best things you can do to be the most prepared for anything that comes your way during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Lastly, whether asking for help comes naturally or goes against most fibers of your being, doing so will yield dividends. I cannot stress this enough!
So if you are expecting or have recently welcomed your baby into the world,
Congrats and Good Luck Momma!
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